“For whom?” I said. “Ariel,” he replied. “A girl in my class.”

 “And, why does she need a bodyguard?” I asked.

 “Some kids are saying not nice things,” he answered.

 I kissed him good-bye, and thought, Okay, they’re 8 years old, and it’s starting. But, it had actually arisen before.

Last year, at the end of school, a mom of a boy in Seth’s class shared that Seth had spoken up to some kids on her son’s behalf. She was hugely impressed and appreciative of his efforts and self-assurance, and wasn’t sure if I was aware. I wasn’t, and thanked her.

A couple of years prior, Seth, himself, had an unsettling experience in school after lunch. He called them the bully girls, and complained of female students chasing him during recess. It sounded as if they admired him but didn’t know how to express it. I asked if he spoke up to his teacher, and he said he told the recess attendant, but things weren’t improving. I then called his teacher who said she’d explore. I asked Seth to name them… he couldn’t, and I sensed he wouldn’t even if he did. He’s proud and wouldn’t want a mom intervention. That could potentially lead to more bullying in his mind. What’s a mom to do? I didn’t want to dismiss his discomfort.

The bully girls are no longer an issue, thankfully, but other kids are. Not for Seth, but for his friends. And, Seth is coming to the rescue. I’m proud of him, but concerned. Will he one day encounter someone tough to stand up to? Seth isn’t striking back with aggression. He is telling bully kids to cut it out. I don’t know if they’re listening, but he speaks from the heart and truly cares about the well-being of others. He has a strong sense of right ‘n wrong.

Seth has long been a Rescue Hero in the making. That’s when he’s not busy being a CSI Investigator, SWAT Team member, Policeman, Fireman, EMS worker, Spy or Power Ranger. He has an impressive collection of baseball caps emblazoned with a wide array of motifs fitting these various bills. He has costumes replete with pants, vests and accessories that further feed the frenzy. On top of that, he has Nerf guns, play handcuffs, flashlights, invisible ink pens, etc. Add to all that a widely vivid imagination, and you never know what can result.

 I witnessed it firsthand at an impromptu play date. He and a friend rode bikes up and down the street, but when the paraphernalia and role play started to break out, things took a more complex turn. I was watching them and then retreated briefly to my office where I could see them out the window. I learned I can’t turn my back for 5 seconds. The phone rang, and it was my next door neighbor Jill. “Do you know that Seth and his friend are stopping traffic?”she said. I was stunned… thanked her for calling and ran out the door. Seth was on one side of the street in front of the house, and his playmate across the street, and they strung plastic rope across the road so cars had to stop. They put out plastic cones Seth plays with when creating a construction zone. They proclaimed they were stopping cars to make sure drivers were wearing seatbelts. They took huge pride in pointing out the Fed Ex truck they had also stopped, and how the driver thanked them for so diligently trying to protect people.

 I ordered them off the street and explained how, while they meant well, there are people in this world who might not embrace their efforts. Seth then showed me a hammer (real one) he had taken from our garage, and demonstrated how he could defend himself. Part of me was glad he had thought of that, but I didn’t want him in a fight. Whether standing up to bullies or enforcing what feels right, I know my son comes from a good place. I’m grateful he has strong, positive values. These aren’t easy to instill. But as a mom concerned about the welfare of her child, it’s not easy to watch when he launches into action.

Note: This piece first appeared on The Huffington Post.

I’ve adored theatre my whole life.

In high school, I was part of the ensemble of Anything Goes.  While singing is not my strength, I won the role of an Angel, and took pride in that status.  My family came to cheer me on, and it was an experience I’d not soon forget…and still makes me smile.

In college (Hofstra University), I was the Arts Editor of one of the school newspapers, and when I graduated, my dream job was to become a professional Theatre Critic.  But, when Frank Rich was hired by the NY Times that very year,  my bubble was burst. He had scooped up the job I yearned for. So, instead, I took an entry level job in corporate America and freelanced on the side writing theatre reviews for the Queens Tribune and other local publications.  While not prestigious like the Times, it kept me on the pulse of theatre, and I got to see many shows and do interviews with performers and other entertainment folk.  I was in my element!

Over the years, reality set in and the lure of a paycheck, and as I ultimately found my way to a career in public relations, my theatre critiquing took a backseat.  I still attended shows but as a leisure pursuit.

When my books were published, How to Meet a Mensch in New York and How to Marry a Mensch (decent person), I was delighted to be an author.  As a little girl, I dreamed of writing books (I used to make them as a kid) and one day seeing my book in a store or library and to catch someone actually reading or buying it.  That dream was realized!

But, in the back of my mind, the thrill of theatre always loomed.

I decided to explore what it might be like to become a producer.  I reached out to some producers, and they were kind enough to meet with me.  One, who has sadly passed away…way too young….became my cheerleader and would invite me to readings of shows so that I could experience that part of the process.  Then, one day, out of the blue, he said to me MENSCH: THE MUSICAL.  I’ll never forget it!  And, I said, what?!  And, he replied and repeated as if it were a no brainer.  MENSCH: THE MUSICAL.  And, I said, really?!

He was suggesting that my books might be adapted for the off bway stage as a musical and that he had interest in the project.  I was stunned…thrilled….and scared out of my mind.  I didn’t have playwriting experience.  I took some classes and took at stab at it, but had no level of confidence in my ability.  So, I tabled it…but never forgot.

Parenting became my focus, and I launched MOTHERHOOD LATER…THAN SOONER after being tired of feeling like the oldest mom in the playground.  I’ve worked at the site and organization tirelessly for about 6 years now (and continue to), and a friend one day said to me that it’s my “platform.”  I knew what that meant…but didn’t grasp what it was leading to or what specifically she might have been alluding to.  Did she know something I had yet to discover?!

She was right!  One day, I got wind of a show that had just closed in LA called IN MOTHER WORDS.  I reached out to introduce myself and didn’t think I’d ever hear back from anyone.  Then, I got a pleasant surprise.  The co-creators/producers reached out to me via email and suggested we arrange a chat.  I wasn’t sure if they had an agenda or what I even had in mind, but at the very least, I wanted to know more about the production to see if MotherhoodLater.com might somehow support it.  Clearly, we were curious about each other, and that’s a good place to start.

I had been writing theatre reviews for MotherhoodLater.com and working with marketing companies on a promotional level…since reaching moms and mom bloggers had become all the rage…and I know how to do it!  So, I knew I could do that for IN MOTHER WORDS.

What emerged from our phone conversation was so much more.  I understood these women.  I liked these women.  They excited me.  The conversation was stimulating, supportive, and I felt a connection to kindred spirits.  The project was something I wanted to be part of.  Little did I know, they were planning to next bring it to New York City.  The name became MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD, and they sent me the script.  After a read and further discussion, and a meeting with the NY-based conceiver/producer, I was sold.  Associate Producer became my title, and I’ve embraced it with everything I have!

                                                  (photo credit: Steven Rosen of http://www.stevenrosenphotography.com)

 At 51, I’m coming home professionally.  What a smart marriage of my parenting efforts and love of theatre.  The universe planned it perfectly….even if I didn’t see it coming.  I was putting the steps into place on a gradual basis.

I’m now working on writing the book for MENSCH: THE MUSICAL, and I look forward to seeing that come to fruition one day.

My spirit has come home.  I’m psyched and feel like I’m on the career path I was meant for.

Who knows what the future will bring?  But, I do know that if I can do it, you can do it.  What is it you’ve always longed for professionally?  What steps can you take?

It’s certainly not easy even contemplating that when you’re in the throes of everyday parenting.  I get that, and sometimes feel like a chicken without a head, but if you want it badly enough, it may be done.  So, I urge you to go for it when the timing is right, and aim high…even if it means taking baby steps alongside your child!

A BIG thank you to Susan Rose and Joan Stein, and the rest of the MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD team for welcoming me with open arms!!   And, if you haven’t already seen the show, it’s a must see for any mom or anyone with a mom! See it with your mom or daughter! You’ll find it to be a bonding experience, with much to talk about.  My eight year old son has asked to see it, and I plan to take him.  It excites me that he wants to see how mommy spends her time.  I hope that he one day too will follow his passions.

Stay tuned for MENSCH: THE MUSICAL…..coming one day to an Off Broadway theatre near you.

Robin (in black) & a Circle of Friends

I love being around people and feeling part of a community.  That’s one of the resounding reasons I launched Motherhood Later…Than Sooner.  But, for me, it’s not just about connecting with other moms, it’s about quality time with people you enjoy, and ideally, those who truly mean something to you.  If they happen to be moms, that’s icing on the cake, but far from a requirement.

I have found that since becoming a mother, coupled with getting older, life for everyone I know is so full, with the operative word “busy.”  In people’s minds, there is often little time for fostering relationships (especially new ones), and pleasure is squeezed in between chores and what easily starts to feel like a stagnant daily existance.

I crave more than that.  I want to enjoy life and the people in my world.  This is a priority.  And, in my book, you’re never too old to make new friends or reinforce longstanding friendships.  It’s worth it.

A few weeks ago…for four days straight, we had a full house.  Marc, my husband, and I felt like keepers of a B and B we called Chez Newman, and though a bit hectic, it was fun.  One very close friend, Debbie, who I worked with some 25 years ago and lives a distance away, came to stay with us for two nights, and it took me back to our professional days as single gals working in NYC.  While it was a time of spontaneity and enjoying all that Manhattan had to offer, ironically it wasn’t all joyous since we were living in the gray.  And, that was a challenging place.  A frequent topic of discussion was our desire to meet the men we would one day marry.  We weren’t in a rush to walk down the aisle, but in a perfect world, we would have had a crystal ball so we’d be assured it would happen.  And, we’d know exactly when and how.  Then, we might have been able to rest easy, and potentially enjoy our 20 something years all the more.

Fast forward, and we’re now both married women with kids living in our respective suburbs.  We got what we wanted.  And, though we love our children and husbands, we yearn for the freedom that feels like another lifetime ago. 

This takes me back to my college days.  When I was an undergraduate student attending Hofstra University, starting my Sophomore year, I lived in a single dorm room.  It was small but had the necessities, and while I appreciated the privacy, I also relished company.  So, when I wasn’t hibernating writing a paper or studying all night for an exam, my room was the “go-to” destination.  I had an open door policy (at times, even if I was in my pajamas), and fellow student friends would wander in ‘n out, and I was in my element.

My good friend Alli (Aunt Alli to Seth, my son), who also stayed with us the same week as Debbie  (for one night), has shared  how she and other empty nester friends have had conversations about communal living. They’ve discussed the possibility of one day buying a large house with ample space for all of them.

I can see the appeal of that or living in a gated or retirement community, when the time comes.  If you’re lucky enough to have neighbors you enjoy, you have a built in circle of companionship.  While I feel fortunate to live in our house, we are only friendly with one set of neighbors, the rest of whom keep to themselves.  I see many at our community pool in the summer, but conversations start ‘n end there.

I don’t want to think about old age at present.  I have no desire to wish the years away.  But, I do know that I appreciate the company of people I can have heartfelt discussions with.  Other women who get raging hormones.  Other women who decided to be a stay at home mom and grapple with the challenges that come with that.  Other women who yearn for topics of discussion beyond parenthood.  Other women who want to get to know you despite having an existing social circle.  Other women engaged in stimulating pursuits, who you can learn from.   And, I’m certainly open to getting to know men as well (of course, not romantically).

So….to all  who know and love us….Chez Newman is open for business.  Don’t be a stranger.  And, if you are a stranger, don’t be afraid to say hello.

Robin Gorman Newman is the founder of http://www.MotherhoodLater.com, a worldwide organization for those parenting later in life. She blogs on Fridays on the site and heads the NY in-person chapter of moms age 35+. Motherhood Later…Than Sooner has been featured in USA TODAY, NY TIMES, REAL SIMPLE FAMILY, HEALTH, NPR, etc.  Robin is also the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch, and has been featured as a relationship “guru” on The Today Show, CNN, and beyond.  She is currently adapting the material from her books for the stage.

Red Rock Canyon, Nevada

Seth is growing up in a flash before my teary eyes.

Second grade will soon come to an end, and this week, parents were invited into this classroom to watch a year-end slide compilation created by Seth’s teacher. It was so immensely touching and well done…from the choice of heartfelt music to the overall presentation. Songs from the Little Mermaid and Beaches had me all choked up. I didn’t expect it. But, what struck me the most from the experience was the fullness of my son’s life when I’m not with him. As I strive to be a stimulated (if not overwhelmed) stay at home working, multi-tasking mom, jumping back in forth between personal/family and professional pursuits, my son is creating a life of his own.

He has friends he plays with. Teachers who engage him. Bus drivers who transport him. Experiences that enrich him. And, he’s only 8. There is so much more to come.

While I was aware of the special in-school ceremonies, occasions and outside field trips to places like the local firehouse, police station and children’s hospital, I was truly taken by the rich array of activities, and the fact that from day to day, he is occupied filling his young mind with the vastness of the world. His school is wonderful, and we are hugely fortunate to have such good public education available to us. That was definitely a consideration when deciding where to live, knowing our goal was to one day have a family.

As Seth continues to mature, he will have more ‘n more adventures and experiences outside the home, with and without us….both good ‘n bad.

He’ll meet kids and adults he likes and doesn’t like (he’s already encountered what he calls “the bully girls” during recess), and will learn to navigate the complex world of relationships.

He’ll learn about romantic love. He has had a “girlfriend” since kindergarten, and one day, he’ll have a serious girlfriend and even have sex. It’s hard me me to wrap my brain around that notion, as I help dress him each morning for school, and he gets a kick out of giving me glimpses of his buff little butt….which will no doubt become the object of desire of women when he’s grown.

He’ll establish priorities. He already knows what is important to him and how he likes to help others, whether it’s assisting the lifeguards at our community pool or standing up for other kids (as one mom told me at his class this week), who are having a hard time for whatever reason.

He’ll ultimately decide his profession of choice. At this point in time, if you were to ask, he’d state emphatically fireman, followed by FBI agent, SWAT team member, etc.

He’ll one day have a dog. On an almost daily basis, he asks my husband and I if we’ll ever get a dog. He adores animals in general, and since he also loves police, he’d welcome a German Shepherd, which he would raise as if it’s a member of the K-9 force. But, Marc and I have no plans to get a dog…..we currently have a cockatiel, and that’s enough in our book.

I could go on ‘n on about all that life potentially holds for him, but for now, I’m grateful to still be able to hold his 50 lb. trim body in my arms and on my lap, and that he still likes to cuddle and craves my good night kisses and hugs. No matter how old he is, I will never stop taking pleasure in that, and I hope one day, he’ll return my hugs with a huge muscular bear hug when he’s a man, and I’m an old woman, looking back on the years well spent helping to create the fine human being that Seth has turned out to be.

Robin Gorman Newman is the founder of http://www.MotherhoodLater.com, a worldwide organization for those parenting later in life. She blogs on Fridays on the site and heads the NY in-person chapter of moms age 35+. Motherhood Later…Than Sooner has been featured in USA TODAY, NY TIMES, REAL SIMPLE FAMILY, HEALTH, NPR, etc.  Robin is also the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch, and has been featured as a relationship “guru” on The Today Show, CNN, and beyond.  She is currently adapting the material from her books for the stage.