So I decided to make it an annual routine.  We did it again this summer.   The results were just as good.  I’m convinced I’ve found the secret to falling in love again and again – with the same woman.   Plus, I get this fantastic experience with my four children, who are between the ages of five and fifteen.  They think dad is cool.

Meantime, my wife decided to write about her experience.  So I’m going to break with tradition and let you read her blog this week instead of mine.

Dusk is falling as I jump on my bicycle and head for our mailbox.  It is a half-mile ride from our front door.  I pedal casually at first, looking at our horses grazing in the pasture alongside our driveway.  As I ride between the rows of pine trees, a warm breeze stirs their branches.  All I hear are birds twittering in the trees and the crunch of the gravel beneath my bicycle tires.

Then I hit the dirt road.  Much of it is one gradual, low hill.  I stand up on the pedals to pump harder.  Cresting the hill I sit back, slowing my peddling and breathing.  The fireflies send out their mating call: flash on, flash off.

Upon reaching the mailbox, I retrieve the mail and put it in a bag that hangs from my handle bars.  Then I turn and start for home.  This time, the half-mile ride is almost all downhill.  As I pick up speed, the warm summer air rushes through my long hair.  I grip the handle bars tightly and coast for home.  I feel as carefree as a young girl.

I can’t remember the last time I took such a ride.  But this is an unusual week.  I haven’t left our property in several days other than to jog or bike ride to the mailbox.   My husband took the kids to the beach in Connecticut for a week.  I stayed home to take care of the animals and gardens.  It may sound like I got the short end of the stick, but not so.  In fact, I volunteered for the job.  Yes, the chores take a few hours a day, but unlike children the animals don’t talk back.

When my husband took the kids away this week, he gave me the gift of time.  Quiet moments to stop and gaze at the mountains or listen to the bullfrogs in the pond don’t seem to happen unless I put it on my calendar.  And the detachment from my usual child-rearing role opens up time for me to pursue some of my own interests.

But even with the kids gone this week, there are a multitude of projects that cry out for my attention.  I resist the urge to organize the kids’ closets or clean out their dressers.  Instead I sunbathe and read classic literature and write.

I let the mail pile up and I stay out of the home office.  Rather, I and go watch a “chick-flick” complete with popcorn and lots of butter.

I even stop myself before I clean the kitchen cupboards and instead take a bath by candlelight.

Of course I love my children.  But one of the biggest challenges of motherhood is not losing oneself and the simple pleasures that bring us satisfactions and peace.  Every mother knows that caring for children is more than a full-time job.  It often starts before you get out of bed each morning and continues long after the children are in bed at night.  With all the cooking, cleaning, homework, shuttling kids from one activity to the next, teaching, disciplining (never mind building relationships), it is nearly impossible to avoid being swallowed up in the never-ending work of motherhood.  Whether reading a book, watching a movie, or some other rare pleasure, a mother is hard pressed to find the time and energy for herself.

Stay-at-home moms tend not to have time or make time for personal endeavors or pleasures.  Something as simple as reading a book for pleasure, watching a movie of your choice, or taking a joyride on a bicycle become nearly impossible.  Under these conditions, a woman can lose their self identity in the call of action.  (Of course, stay-at-home dads could face similar challenges).  Most fathers go to the office and immerse themselves in their profession.   For a woman who stays home to raise her children, motherhood is her career.  But the difference is that when the five o’clock hour arrives, she can’t check out.

Motherhood is unlike any other position.  It’s a blue collar job like a hotel maid or a bus driver, except there’s no paycheck.  It’s like being a student again with homework and papers to edit, except there’s no diploma.  It’s like being a judge with your decisions constantly questioned, except there’s no prestige.  While motherhood is a lifetime appointment, it ought to come with a few perks.  Some solitude to rediscover the woman inside is just one example.

Thank you, Jeff for a gift that money can’t buy.

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Red Rock Canyon, Nevada

Seth is growing up in a flash before my teary eyes.

Second grade will soon come to an end, and this week, parents were invited into this classroom to watch a year-end slide compilation created by Seth’s teacher. It was so immensely touching and well done…from the choice of heartfelt music to the overall presentation. Songs from the Little Mermaid and Beaches had me all choked up. I didn’t expect it. But, what struck me the most from the experience was the fullness of my son’s life when I’m not with him. As I strive to be a stimulated (if not overwhelmed) stay at home working, multi-tasking mom, jumping back in forth between personal/family and professional pursuits, my son is creating a life of his own.

He has friends he plays with. Teachers who engage him. Bus drivers who transport him. Experiences that enrich him. And, he’s only 8. There is so much more to come.

While I was aware of the special in-school ceremonies, occasions and outside field trips to places like the local firehouse, police station and children’s hospital, I was truly taken by the rich array of activities, and the fact that from day to day, he is occupied filling his young mind with the vastness of the world. His school is wonderful, and we are hugely fortunate to have such good public education available to us. That was definitely a consideration when deciding where to live, knowing our goal was to one day have a family.

As Seth continues to mature, he will have more ‘n more adventures and experiences outside the home, with and without us….both good ‘n bad.

He’ll meet kids and adults he likes and doesn’t like (he’s already encountered what he calls “the bully girls” during recess), and will learn to navigate the complex world of relationships.

He’ll learn about romantic love. He has had a “girlfriend” since kindergarten, and one day, he’ll have a serious girlfriend and even have sex. It’s hard me me to wrap my brain around that notion, as I help dress him each morning for school, and he gets a kick out of giving me glimpses of his buff little butt….which will no doubt become the object of desire of women when he’s grown.

He’ll establish priorities. He already knows what is important to him and how he likes to help others, whether it’s assisting the lifeguards at our community pool or standing up for other kids (as one mom told me at his class this week), who are having a hard time for whatever reason.

He’ll ultimately decide his profession of choice. At this point in time, if you were to ask, he’d state emphatically fireman, followed by FBI agent, SWAT team member, etc.

He’ll one day have a dog. On an almost daily basis, he asks my husband and I if we’ll ever get a dog. He adores animals in general, and since he also loves police, he’d welcome a German Shepherd, which he would raise as if it’s a member of the K-9 force. But, Marc and I have no plans to get a dog…..we currently have a cockatiel, and that’s enough in our book.

I could go on ‘n on about all that life potentially holds for him, but for now, I’m grateful to still be able to hold his 50 lb. trim body in my arms and on my lap, and that he still likes to cuddle and craves my good night kisses and hugs. No matter how old he is, I will never stop taking pleasure in that, and I hope one day, he’ll return my hugs with a huge muscular bear hug when he’s a man, and I’m an old woman, looking back on the years well spent helping to create the fine human being that Seth has turned out to be.

Robin Gorman Newman is the founder of http://www.MotherhoodLater.com, a worldwide organization for those parenting later in life. She blogs on Fridays on the site and heads the NY in-person chapter of moms age 35+. Motherhood Later…Than Sooner has been featured in USA TODAY, NY TIMES, REAL SIMPLE FAMILY, HEALTH, NPR, etc.  Robin is also the author of How to Meet a Mensch in NY and How to Marry a Mensch, and has been featured as a relationship “guru” on The Today Show, CNN, and beyond.  She is currently adapting the material from her books for the stage.