I’m Jealous of My Nanny

A working mom’s dilemma.

By Alison Hart

“Do you think your nanny is too affectionate with your daughter?” my friend asked me at work the other day.

I understood exactly what she was asking. We had had our babies within a month of each other. We were both back in the office, and our children were at home with their nannies. We missed our babies terribly. We both wanted to know whether it was normal to feel the way we did. The answer was — is — complicated.

My husband and I hired a wonderful woman to care for our daughter Mia. I still don’t know how we lucked out. We found Tess* [not her real name] online, through one of those websites that’s like an OK Cupid for parents and sitters. By the time we met her, we had interviewed so many candidates that I wondered how I would keep them all straight in my mind, but Tess stood out. She was warm, funny, and took copious notes. We went with our gut. It could have been a disaster, like a bad first date. But Tess is marvelous, both deeply kind and careful.

On her first day, there were rough patches. Mia cried in the morning. It didn’t help that I’d overfed her before I left for work, because I was worried about my milk supply going down. She cried in the late afternoon, too, and her eyelashes were still wet with tears when I got home, but she was happier. She was lying on her back in her activity gym, and Tess was alongside her, bringing the dangly duckie into reach. Mia was laughing, and I could tell that she would be okay without me.

After that, she and Tess got along like peaches and cream.

As time went on, my coworkers would ask how my daughter was doing, and I would gush with relief. She’s great! She’s happy! One day after I’d been back at work a couple weeks, my father asked whether I was jealous of Tess, but how could I be jealous? I was too overwhelmed with gratitude. And I was so busy getting caught up at work that there wasn’t time to miss Mia. Next thing I knew, I was home again for bathtime, the best part of my day.

So when the jealousy came, it threw me for a loop… (click here to read the rest of the article)

  • Suegrape

    Dr. Laura really put this into perspective!!

  • A dad

    Agreed. Haven’t listened to her in years and I caught her today. Will be sharing this with my wife since she is able to stay home with our 20 month old.

  • A Mom

    Wow! Just heard Dr. Laura’s comment about this blog…REALLY hope Alison has an opportunity to hear it too…for the sake of her child.

  • Rana Akshaya

    I love the peoples like you who share the practical experiences day to day life. How to control jealousy is some how mistic from people to people but i rather appreciate you. wishing you all the success